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Pastor Joe Cameneti – Warren, OH
Our church was just one year old. My brother Mike, who now pastors in Canton, Ohio, was our youth pastor at the time. He was hosting our first ever student all-nighter, and I stopped in to say hello to everyone.
When I arrived, Mike and his wife Barb were talking to a woman. They introduced me, and I soon discovered that her husband had recently passed away. She was obviously upset, and I wanted to take the conversation in a new direction. I began to ask her all of the usual questions a pastor would ask. “How old are your children?” “Where do they attend school?” This went on for a few minutes, and I began to get more comfortable as the tone of the conversation became more casual.
Unfortunately, I became so comfortable that I forgot all about her deceased husband. In my lack of thought, I asked the poor woman one final question: “So what does your husband do for a living?”
My brother’s eyes widened as the dear woman quickly replied, “I just told you that he is dead!” At that point, Mike abandoned me! He turned around and began to slowly walk down the hallway – shoulders shaking from laughter. Can you believe my “dear brother” left me alone to deal with my stupidity!
I couldn’t tell you one single thing about the rest of that night. It has forever been lost in my subconscious. I would need years of “inner healing” specialists and a steady dose of drugs to dig it up! Talk about saying stupid things! Be sure to say a prayer for the dear woman. Needless to say… she no longer attends our church.
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Back in the early 90’s, I had a prayer line at the end of a service, and an “elderly” man walked to the altar. When I prayed for him, he fell back. I’m not so sure if it was from God’s presence as much as it was out of habit. Regardless, he fell so quickly that the ushers weren’t able to reach him in time, and his head hit the carpet pretty hard. What happened next was like something straight out of the movies.
The force of impact was enough to send his head back into the air, catapulting his dentures skyward! They had to have been launched about 10 feet across the front of the church! The funniest part was watching my leadership in the front row as all of their heads turned in unison toward the air-born dentures and then back to me. I was trying so hard not to laugh with them! Without hesitation, one of our usherettes used a prayer cloth to return the teeth to their owner. He was fine, and all was well. We knew we had just been given a story to tell for the ages!
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I’ll never forget my first trip to New York City with my wife, Gina. We were ready to enjoy an incredible day of shopping and fine cuisine. I had just grabbed a delicious 20-ounce decaf coffee from Starbucks, and I was excited to start my day. We were in Macy’s, and I needed to use the restroom, so I left Gina to her shopping, and I made my way to that “special place.”
I entered the men’s room and proceeded into a stall where I carefully set my coffee on top of the toilet paper dispenser. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but where was I supposed to put it? I couldn’t chance leaving a new, perfectly delightful cup of Starbucks sitting outside for just anyone to enjoy! This was my only option!
A short time passed, and all was well. I had managed to avoid any major problems as I went through my ritual of cleaning the seat and layering it with toilet paper (See… I am clean after all). But then, as I sat down, my shoulder accidentally bumped the coffee! As if in slow motion, I watched in terror as the cup teetered off the dispenser and started falling toward the floor. In those brief seconds, I made a desperate attempt to snatch the cup from mid air. I failed. It hit the floor with what seemed like the force of a small atomic bomb. For a moment I stared at the mess, thankful that somehow the exploding java hadn’t ruined my outfit. My joy was short-lived.
“Are you kidding me?” an irate voice from the next stall reverberated throughout the room. “What kind of person brings a drink into a restroom? You must be a pig to have food in here?” I fully understood why this gentleman would be upset! So I tried to calm him down by repeatedly apologizing to him. His anger was reminiscent of John Gotti before a hit. He was mad! “Ah! You ruined my pants, you stupid fool!” He wasn’t about to let me forget what had happened.
After the initial wave of profanity and disgust, I reached for my wallet to find a twenty to cover his dry cleaning bill. I knew it was my fault, and I sincerely felt bad about what had happened. My plan was to slip the bill under the stall and deliver a nice, “Here ya’ go buddy. I’ll pay for your dry cleaning.”
Five minutes later, the endless barrage of names and jeers were still flying, and I couldn’t take it anymore! The twenty dollar bill was back in my wallet, and what I thought to be my “spiritual mind” began to entertain some very crazy, “unchristian” thoughts. I can take this guy! He’s really begging for it. Does he think he can handle 250 pounds of uncontrollable Joe? I’m in New York, and no one would ever know! The battle was raging in my mind, and my mouth was ready to let loose. I was trying with everything that was in me to hold back and not escalate the situation any further. I really should have prayed that morning!
Finally I heard him leaving the stall, but his exit was not to be outdone by the previous ten minutes—he loudly expressed his displeasure the entire way out of the restroom. I waited for what felt like an eternity in that restroom. I wanted to be absolutely sure that I didn’t run into him again, possibly forcing me into a physical altercation.
The rest of the day was terrible. I walked around one of the largest cities in the world paranoid that I might run into my “friend” from the restroom and his coffee-stained pants. I literally stared at the cuffs of every pair of pants that passed.
Pastor Dennis Cummins – Puyallup, WA
The way that we best share the light side of life is through what we call VIP's - Video Illustrated Points. These are in-house video productions and monologs that we create in house. Most of our VIP's can be viewed on www.youtube.com located at http://www.youtube.com/user/jlb6503596 with over 400,000 views. We find that we have greater latitude in putting humor in video as illustrations than doing it from the pulpit. We have been able to say more and without saying anything. Our most controversial VIP is our American Jesus VIP. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZF3txVFeJY We put this together during a series I was doing on health. The purpose was to show people that if we are the only Jesus that people are seeing, then how are Americans viewing Jesus through our hypocritical Christian lifestyle; over eating, self inflicted health disorders, smoking and so on. Some people were offended by the American Jesus VIP because it was able to put some things into perspective. Our other popular personality that we have used is a character called "Master Profit Ricky Reed." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWts6MdDarA This character is to show the imbalance in some of the prosperity message.
We have also used humorous VIP's to challenge the religious stereotypes of Christianity. I think humor is very important since it opens the heart and prepares them for truth. Video is a powerful tool and I would love to see more churches capitalize on it. Especially since a church could get started with a Final Cut Express HD editing suite, an IMAC computer and a great Cannon HDV30 camera for under $2,000.
Pastor Bob Hoover – Decatur, IL
I think humor is very important for every Pastor to express. Recently I was asked to minister at a funeral for a Harley biker. The man's wife wanted some humorous things to be expressed, and she thought that I was that kind of minister. I am not the “Harley kind of guy” as another Pastor at our church said, but she thought I would make it fun and also serious. Since I don't know anything about Harleys, I said some funny things about how little I know in regards to being a biker—sort of a Rodney Dangerfield approach. I closed with a salvation message. This was a well known biker, so we were packed out. After the service, two other bikers expressed they would like for me to minister at their funeral. Guess they did not know they were talking to a seventy year old Pastor. It was great fun.
