Job Description for Church Staff

Senior Pastor

* Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound
* More powerful than a locomotive
* Faster than a speeding bullet
* Walks on water
* Gives policies to God

Associate Pastor

* Able to leap short buildings in a single bound
* Almost as powerful as a locomotive
* Just as fast as a speeding bullet
* Walks on the water (if the sea is calm)
* Talks with God

Minister of Children

* Leaps short buildings with a running start
* Prefers toy trains to locomotives
* Faster than a speeding B-B
* Walks on water (if he knows where the rocks are)
* Talks with God if special request is approved

Minister of Music

* Can climb over a small building
* Falls off of locomotives
* Can fire a speeding bullet
* Swims well
* Is occasionally addressed by God

Youth Minister

* Runs into small buildings
* Recognizes a locomotive two out of three times
* Owns a squirt gun
* Knows how to use the water fountain
* Mumbles to himself

Church Secretary

* Picks up buildings and walks under them
* Knocks locomotives off of the tracks
* Catches speeding bullets in her teeth
* Freezes water with a single glance
* When God speaks, says, "May I ask who’s calling?"

– Author Unknown